I found this unpublished blog entry in my files, and thought I should go ahead and post it. I just can't seem to finish this blog. I guess subconciously I don't want to finish it because that will mean this chapter of my life is over...and it is too interesting to be over. Hopefully my life is well written and the themes and lessons learned in this chapter will carry over and influence the chapters to come. For now, though, I am still trying to get to that next chapter and this one will linger until I can turn that page.
Speaking of last chapters, this entry is about my last days of teaching, and it is too good to leave out. Enjoy!
“This is your last week of teaching,” I was told on a Tuesday morning ten minutes before my first class and an entire week earlier than expected. The school’s reasoning was a complicated gift of sorts owing to the fact that I had a friend visiting from America who was not allowed on the school’s campus by order of the Shenzhen Education Bureau due to Swine Flu paranoia. A big part of me was thankful that I didn’t have to force my friend Lindsey to sit in a hotel room alone all day or wander the streets of Shenzhen unaccompanied while I taught and lived a few blocks away due to some silly quarantine, but another part of me was a little disappointed at how disposable my job really was. I was told the kids had important tests coming up anyway and that without my class they would have more time for studying.
However, I didn’t have long to be elated or disappointed. I scrambled up to my room to grab the supplies I had luckily already purchased for my final lesson. Several months ago Chinese “nowism” might have gotten the best of me, but by June I was accustomed to the unexpected and unplanned. Sadly for my Monday classes, their last lesson would be about machines and a short clip from the movie, Wall-E. It’s not that knowing the name of a microwave, a laptop, and a robot aren’t important, but it’s not exactly “last class” material. Instead I had planned a relaxed day in which the students worked on a personalized assignment. I gave each student a blank piece of computer paper and passed out some communal markers, which was no small or cheap task considering I taught 600 students total, and asked them to write the following: Name (English and Chinese) plus a personal portrait drawing, class number and grade, three of their favorite things with pictures, and a letter to me that I can read when I go home to America. I handed out a few pieces of candy to each student showing my affection through sugar and as a sort of peace offering for any scolding and punishments that might have taken place in the past.
Walking around the classroom witnessing an array of blank and concentrated faces, furious scribbling, and careful coloring, I had the feeling that it was I who was being tested. I was filled with that stomach churning combination of dread and excitement that comes before finding out the result of a big test. Since I was an oral English teacher, this would be the first written assignment my students had ever turned in to me. Had I been a good teacher? Did they enjoy my class? Did I teach them anything? Or instead, would their papers show confusion, loathing, and a lack of progress? Either way I couldn’t wait to read them.
Ultimately, this lesson plan was more for my benefit than the students benefit. Sure they would be reviewing topics we had covered earlier in the year—favorite things, numbers, verb agreement, animals, etc., but mostly I wanted a concrete piece of paper from every student encapsulating their personality and culture. I wanted to take these papers home with me to share with friends and family so that they could understand a little bit of what I had been doing over the past year. I had already purchased a book with clear sleeves where I could store 80 or so of my favorites as a memento of my year teaching English in China. I anticipated misspellings and funny grammatical errors, cute pictures and sentimental notes, and after my first class on Tuesday morning I realized I wouldn’t be disappointed.
I had 600 students, each of which I saw once a week. This meant that I really didn’t know very many of them individually. This assignment finally gave me the gratification of personal interaction. My cheeks were sore from smiling by the end of the week, and I felt a sense of peace for the first time since coming to China. The mistakes and wording within the papers are a good laugh, but not totally unexpected after living in China for a year and experiencing translation funnies, odd English names, and bad signage. What I didn’t expect was the compassion, insight, and ambition of these 10, 11, and 12 year old students that managed to shine through a language that is not their own. Through these papers, these Chinese students reminded me of the optimism of endless possibilities and small pleasures that exist in a child of 10 or 12. At the same time, some showed a maturity that seemed at odds with their first grade level English. In the end, after reading through all of the papers, I knew that coming to China was worth it. For my students I represented a broader world, a chance for imagination and ambition to run amuck in contrast to the structure of their other classes. For me, my students represented the comforting knowledge that despite cultural differences, there lays the possibility of emotional connection.
My favorite names: Hebe, Salty Fish, Weina, Sea, Lebron James, Sweet, Sun Shine, Sausage, Saffy, Rain
My favorite "favorite things":
“I have lots of hobbies. These include sports, food and fruits, ping pong balls, hamburgers, and peaches.”
“My favorite color is silvery.”
“I like $.”
“I like stand under the sky in the night, that is very quiet.”
“My favorite animal is smoke. My favorite food is chicken wind. My favorite sport is basketball.”
“I like films, hot fries, and Miss Lori!”
My favorite letters:
“When you go home. I miss you. You should every day happy and eat a lot of vegetables. Have a lot of exercise.”
“Dear Miss Lori, I want a PSP. I will miss you. Break a leg.”
“Dear Miss Lory, if you live in America you must be careful of the H1N1 of swine flu.”
“I’m so glad to study with you. I was very happy happy happy!
“Dear Lori, If you arrive in America, please remember me, I am da’ Terminator.”
“Miss Lori, in my mind. You’re a young children and can’t grow up. You’re beautiful. Not only you face, but also your mind. You’re a very good teacher. You can teach us a lot of knowledge and something I don’t know. Thank you for your help. We will separate but I will not forget you—the best teacher in my mind! I wish you will come back to China soon!” ~Kitty
My favorite quotes from the assignment:
“We are remember you. And we love you.”
“Happy everyday”
“The life and the time is so fast.” ~Nick
“These time, you is our teacher, you give we lots of happy!”
“Miss Lori, I want very much to live in America and eat there.”
“I’m a handsome boy.”
“Believe in me. I will learn English better.”
“I am honoured to be your student because you are a very take charge teacher.”
“My favourite people is Lori, mother, father, and I!”
“Don’t forget me.”
“Maybe some day I’ll go to Alabama, America. Maybe I’ll meet you.”
“I’ll remember you forever.”
“You will be a part of my memories.”
“Lori is my good Teather!” (maybe the most ironic statement of them all)
“Don’t forget me when you go to play basketball with Kobe.”
My favorite self-portraits:
