Mid-Autumn Festival and My New Chinese Family

Yesterday was Mid-Autumn Festival or Moon Festival, and I made the decision to break away from my comfort zone and spend the day with Elli, my Chinese contact teacher from my primary school, and her family. Don’t ask me exactly what Moon Festival celebrates because I haven’t researched it yet due to internet scarcity, but from what I learned from Elli and the general atmosphere, it is something to do with an ancient goddess, the harvest, families, and the full moon. It reminded me a little bit of Thanksgiving in America, but instead of Indians there is a moon goddess, instead of pumpkin pie there are moon cakes, and instead of the Macy’s parade there is the moon. Our loose itinerary for the day: go see family, go to the beach, watch the moon. (I know I said I would stay away from play by play entries, but the whole day was such a cultural experience I want to include it all.)

Elli, her husband (whom I’ll refer to as Mr. Zhen since I’m still not 100% sure what his name really is since he doesn’t speak English), her daughter Jessi, and I headed out from our neighborhood at 9am to drive to Long gang where their “country home” is located and where Mr. Zhen’s mother and brother live.

As we arrived I soon found out that the picture in my head of a “country home” was not the same as their idea of a country home. The town was more rural in that it was further away from downtown Shenzhen and maybe in the fact that the people are poorer, but that is as far as my interpretation of their term for “country” goes. There was not a field in sight. Instead there was mile after mile of factories, stores, half-built apartment complexes, and dirty roads. Elli pointed out that the crowds of people were made up of mostly young, factory workers. I was surprised that she pointed this out to me, and I was also surprised to see that these young “country” workers were not in more traditional Chinese clothes but modern fashions. The boys even wore the typical hip young Chinese haircut—long, tousled, razored, edgy. They looked more like inner-city New York residents than outer-city country folk.

As we squeezed our car between pedestrians and narrow alleyways which were blocked half the time by construction rubble, Elli surprised me again by acknowledging the fact that I probably had something entirely different in mind when she said “country home.” They apparently had bought their land many years ago before there were so many people, but it took so long to get through all the government red tape that the property was only built a few years ago.
After making it though the obstacle course of people and rubble, we finally arrived at their building. It looked like the typical harsh, rectangular, tiled, bar-windowed apartment building I have seen everywhere in China. The only difference was that I could tell this one was relatively new. Elli and Mr. Zhen own the building and rent most of the rooms to factory workers. Other tenants include Mr. Zhen’s mother, brother, and two nephews who we found relaxing in the open air room that Mr. Zhen hopes will be occupied by a store some day.

Once inside the room, I realized what they meant by country. There was very little furniture—just one little table with four chairs for tea, a little side table with stacks of food products and other random household items, an outdated television, and some hotplates and woks for cooking. Mr. Zhen’s mother was as typically rural Chinese as I have imagined—small, tanned, slightly hump backed from work, missing teeth, and wearing mismatched floral patterned clothing. She hardly sat the whole time we were there as she bustled around taking care of the home, but she smiled every time I looked at her. She was absolutely a delight even though I could not speak a word to her since she only knows Cantonese. (In Picture Right to Left: Jessi, me, Elli)

Mr. Zhen and Elli showed me the rest of the building including Mr. Zhen’s mother and brother’s rooms, which consisted of a bathroom and a straw-mat bed with a mosquito net in each. Next they took me to the top floor, which was built entirely as their own personal flat. I was shocked by the difference in size and quality between the tenants rooms and my contact teachers flat. It has three bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, a nice size kitchen, and a living area. It is not yet complete and has no furniture, and they don’t seem to be in a hurry to finish it.

As we looked out the window of their apartment over the vast landscape of apartment buildings, Elli asked me if I thought Chinese buildings were ugly. Taken aback by the bluntness of the question, I wasn’t sure what to say. I, of course, wanted to say yes. I even wrote a journal entry in my notebook earlier in the trip about how aesthetically unpleasing Chinese buildings are with their uniform rectangular shapes, moldy tiles, and barred windows. However, I took the more cautious route when answering her and said that some are, but not all of them. She replied, “I think they are very ugly. People just build them that way to get the most space for their money.” I was surprised yet again by Elli’s answer.

We then went downstairs to sit around the tiny table and have tea and sample moon cakes. Moon cakes are all round moon shaped cakes made of some sort of dense filling of various types. I have not had one I liked yet. Even the Chinese don’t really seem to like them, but they eat them anyway. Elli and her daughter both admitted that they didn’t care for them—another surprise. I guess I kept getting surprised by how culturally critical Elli and her family are sometimes. They complained about the pollution, the bad drivers, and the slow government. I loved their honesty and it made me realize how wrong I was to think that all Chinese ignored the problems around them.

On to a more pleasant atmosphere, we drove to the beaches in Yantian. Like most Chinese women, Elli did not want to be in the sun because she hates getting tan, so she insisted on sitting inside while Jessi (whom Elli insisted take an umbrella with her) and I walked on the beach looking at shells and crabs. While walking I noticed that there were only a few women on the beach and most of them were wearing clothes or very conservative swimsuits whereas the men were all shirtless and in short shorts splashing around in the water. I wore my bikini under my clothes in case I wanted to swim, but I was way too uncomfortable to take my clothes off. Jessi and I discussed how funny it is that Americans and Chinese are so opposite yet the same when it comes to our skin. Chinese women spend thousands of dollars on skin whitening products, and Americans spend thousands of dollars on tanning products.

As the day went on, I realized I felt very comfortable with this family. Elli mentioned that Jessi could be my sister because I am so young, and I indeed felt like she could be my sister especially as I watched her thumb through the pages of the Seventeen magazine I had given her earlier that day.

From the beach we headed to an outdoor restaurant by the seaside which Elli likes because the seafood is caught fresh everyday. It was quite an experience watching Mr. Zhen pick out the still alive fish, oysters, crabs, and shrimp from the tanks a few feet from our table. They were right about the food though, it was very good. They laughed at me when I tried eating the crab because I had no idea how to get the meat out, but I’m used to it by now since I have a hard time eating anything involving the whole animal.

Nice and full, we left dinner and headed to a different beach where we could watch the moon. There were miles of cars parked along the edge of the road, and we had to drive a while until we found a parking spot. The beach was perfect. Not too crowded, but enough people that I could watch the families enjoying the night and the moon. Some were swimming; some were cooking out; and others had pitched tents and planned to spend the night on the beach. My favorite moment was when one family tried to send a huge red lantern off into the sky like a hot air balloon. It didn’t manage to take off, but it was beautiful seeing the huge red lantern lit up by fire.

The entire day was very low key, and nothing extremely eventful happened, but that is why I liked it so much. It gave me time to notice the details of everyday Chinese life that I miss when I’m out with my American friends. I haven’t felt that relaxed since coming to China. I didn’t notice the stares for once, and I didn’t have to worry about figuring out where to go or what to do. For those who are traveling or living abroad, my advice is to hang out and get to know the locals because it will make your life more comfortable.